Tightarse Travels: Melbourne’s Hammer & Tong 412

As I mentioned in my review of Mama Falafel, my friend and I hit up Melbourne last weekend, after we scored some $35 flights in a Jetstar sale. Not only was it an excuse to see some of our favourite people (we both have many friends living there), it was also a chance to stuff our faces full of delicious foods.

I’d read about Hammer & Tong 412 on Time Out Melbourne‘s website, where it promised pop rock pancakes. Yes, you heard me right: POP ROCK PANCAKES! What could be better? I sold my friends on this place by saying those three words alone and yet… when we arrived… NO POP ROCK PANCAKES ON THE MENU? What was this travesty? Where had the pop rock pancakes disappeared too? Had they just been too much for the average bruncher’s palate? Hardly, what kind of brunch-eater would turn down pop rock pancakes? Those people need to be institutionalised, for only the insane would not enjoy pop rock pancakes. How many times can I say pop rock pancakes? Pop rock pancakes!

Anyways, after we wept for not being able to experience the magic that was pop rock pancakes, we realised there were some excellent alternative options on the menu…


They didn’t have any sort of mushroom/toast/cheese sort of option, so I ordered the mushroom sandwich from the options at the counter (these change regularly). Excellent choice – the pickled onions gave it a wonderful tang and the smokey cheese was a perfect accompaniment to the meaty mushrooms. Plus, it came in under $10, so that’s a win in anyone’s books.


RP ordered the poached eggs, which she said were delicious and were worth blowing the usual $15 ICS budget for (they were $17). She was even able to get gluten free toast that didn’t taste like dust, so she was thrilled.


C was very happy with his crab burger ($16), which I distinctly remember him proclaiming as the best crab burger ever. Big call, but the look on his face suggested he was probably right. If you’re into crab, this is clearly where it’s at.


Feeling a little splurgey, I ordered the Golden Gaytime milkshake ($6, I think), because I was on holiday and it had to be ordered. It was the best decision of the day. It had little crunchy bits, just like the outside of a Gaytime, and was the ideal ‘dessert’ finish to an all round, spectacular breakfast.


Coffee snobs

Hammer & Tong 412 is tucked away behind 412 Brunswick St, Fitzroy, Victoria

Hammer & Tong on Urbanspoon