Dear cyclists

Note: I’ve had a go at public transport and drivers, now it’s the cyclists turn…

Dear Cyclists,

Oh hey, I hear you have your own political party now. Just like the Motoring Enthusiasts, the HEMP party, the Smokers Rights party and Shooters & Fishers… Except unlike them, I am actually interested in your policies. Is it because they might tie in with my own? Mayhaps. I personally believe there are too many cars on the road and that better public transport and bike lanes will make for a greener, safer city. But cyclists, I have a few gripes with you, just little things I need to get off my chest before we move forward:

  1. You can either cycle on the road or on the footpath. I don’t care which one and I don’t care if different cyclists have different preferences, but when you’re on the road, stick to the RULES OF THE ROAD! That means you don’t run red lights just because you’re a bike – you’re either going to hit a pedestrian crossing the street OR you’re going to get hit by a car. Either way, it’s your fault – red means stop, regardless of your mode of transport!
  2. If you pick the footpath, that’s cool – roads can be scary. But please use your bell to alert me to your oncoming-ness, that’s why you have a bell.

  3. Basically, what I’m trying to say is obey the goddamn laws of the road and/or footpaths and remember there are other road/footpath users out there besides you.
  4. Please refrain from taking your bike on public transport during peak hour. Sometimes, I understand this might be unavoidable – but if it was only a rare occurrence, then I think the rest of us would all be a little more lenient.
  5. Wear a helmet.
  6. Learn to indicate using your hands. By letting me know you want to turn, I’m not going to step out in front of you. Obviously, me stepping out in front of you would be a disaster. Indicating is our friend.
  7. Wear a helmet.
  8. When looking for a place to ‘park’ it, think of your bike as a car – you wouldn’t want someone parking across your driveway so why do some of you think it’s ok to leave your bike across a doorway? Equally, don’t park it in a car spot – it’s for cars, not for bikes.

  9. If there is a bike lane, use it. Obvs!
  10. Wear a goddamn helmet. Geez!

Cyclists, I will fight for your rights to roll around on two wheels, in fluro lycra, like a wolf pack, til my dying day. But some of you have become arrogant and that’s gotta stop. You need to do the right thing. Please remember I’m a road user too and look out for the pedestrian! I’m fragile.